awake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

being awake can be because I am not getting any sleep, simple, I know, but a I really awake, awake means consciousness, am I ?

"Are you?" I ask myself again, but don't get any answer. Because there is no answer,

I know the feeling of being awake, when I was in the ashram, yes I know I was alive, full of life. But now things are slipping from my hand, it is like catching sand in your fist, can we really make any feeling. I remember Mohan Rakesh's "Shayad"; the man keeps telling his wife, no feeling holds an impression in mind or heart, it entertain's you only for some time, say may be an hour or so, but there is nothing which makes one feels complete.

life at this point looks and feels like "Shayad"; there is nothing which is flowing in life, no complains, no regrets, but there is a but in life.

 hazaaroN KHwahishaiN 'eisee ke har KHwahish pe dam nikle         bohot  nikle  mere  armaaN  lekin  fir  bhee  kam  nikle

nikalna KHuld se aadam ka sunte aayaiN haiN lekin

        bohot  be_aabru hokar tere  kooche  se  ham nikle